Special Holiday Preview Post!

Don't get excited.  I'm writing another post because I usually commit to things a lot at first, but then eventually give up.  This will not be an everyday sort of thing.

Anyways.

So Christmas is coming.  Mom, if you're reading this I hope I get those Eddie Bauer socks I seem to get every year...the ones that turn my feet into itchy red feet of hell.

So with the holidays quickly approaching I have created a list of ways for us anti-social people to celebrate.  Enjoy.

1. Write a letter to Santa.  Then rip it up and eat it because you NEVER WRITE PEOPLE LETTERS!
2. If carolers come singing at your door, sneak to your porch light switch and turn it off to convince them that no one is home (or just flick the lights on and off a couple times to convince them that a serial killer must live here) Then hide behind your couch till they give up and leave
3. Watch all 24 hours of "The Christmas Story" until you can mouth the dialogue along with the characters and both of your legs have gone permanently numb
4. Do all your shopping online to avoid any human interactions
5. If you are invited to a Christmas party, here are a few clever excuses I have used before to get out of having to go:
1. "I don't like you"
2. "No"
3. "Please stop inviting me to things"
6. Collect all the cat hair from your sweatshirts and knit yourself some nice mittens that can also be used to ward off any humans allergic to cats
7. If it snows, make sure to shovel it all onto the sidewalk to make it a huge inconvenience for people to walk in front of your house.
8. Finally, tis the season to be jolly.  So spend your evenings doing what you do best..clipping your toenails while you watch millions of commercials.

And finally, an early present you can give to that special someone (or sociable friend) that will allow them to bring you as their "plus one".  Who said you weren't a giving person?

Bye losers.  Going to go listen to my roommate's phone conversations and try to figure out who she is talking to.