Dead Week Gloriousness

This entire post is dedicated to the one week out of the year that anti-social beings fit in.
In fact...we not only fit in, we thrive, we become normal!

DEAD WEEK

Here's what I mean.  Dead week is the week before finals in college where every student realizes that for the past few months there have been regularly scheduled classes that they are going to have to prove that they went to by answering a couple hundred questions.  Books that have been used to prop open doors are finally opened, and sparknotes makes bank.  This week is literally everyone's last chance to smash knowledge into their brain.

But for us Anti-Social people this week means so much more.

For one week out of the year...we blend in.  Our usual habits of hiding in our rooms and avoiding eye contact is now adopted by every single student.  The campus is no longer a social hub, everyone is busy trying to grasp concepts from Answers.com and Facebook creeping their cousin's ex girlfriend in order to avoid actually studying.  No one is seen as shy, just busy.
It is beautiful.

BUT DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON GROUP PROJECTS!
There is a special ring of hell for group projects.

Anyways, if you are a social butterfly take a moment this week to realize how wonderful it is to never shower, or talk to anyone, or leave your room.  Welcome to our culture.  We would hug you....but.....no.  Happy dead week.

Here's my coupon for this week.  It's for those study dates that you never do.  Give this to that cute boy who sits three rows in front of you in lecture and has those really pointy ears.

Goodbye losers.  I'm going to read about some Greek god who turned some guy into a bird.

Special Holiday Preview Post!

Don't get excited.  I'm writing another post because I usually commit to things a lot at first, but then eventually give up.  This will not be an everyday sort of thing.

Anyways.

So Christmas is coming.  Mom, if you're reading this I hope I get those Eddie Bauer socks I seem to get every year...the ones that turn my feet into itchy red feet of hell.

So with the holidays quickly approaching I have created a list of ways for us anti-social people to celebrate.  Enjoy.

1. Write a letter to Santa.  Then rip it up and eat it because you NEVER WRITE PEOPLE LETTERS!
2. If carolers come singing at your door, sneak to your porch light switch and turn it off to convince them that no one is home (or just flick the lights on and off a couple times to convince them that a serial killer must live here) Then hide behind your couch till they give up and leave
3. Watch all 24 hours of "The Christmas Story" until you can mouth the dialogue along with the characters and both of your legs have gone permanently numb
4. Do all your shopping online to avoid any human interactions
5. If you are invited to a Christmas party, here are a few clever excuses I have used before to get out of having to go:
1. "I don't like you"
2. "No"
3. "Please stop inviting me to things"
6. Collect all the cat hair from your sweatshirts and knit yourself some nice mittens that can also be used to ward off any humans allergic to cats
7. If it snows, make sure to shovel it all onto the sidewalk to make it a huge inconvenience for people to walk in front of your house.
8. Finally, tis the season to be jolly.  So spend your evenings doing what you do best..clipping your toenails while you watch millions of commercials.

And finally, an early present you can give to that special someone (or sociable friend) that will allow them to bring you as their "plus one".  Who said you weren't a giving person?

Bye losers.  Going to go listen to my roommate's phone conversations and try to figure out who she is talking to.

Cats and Stuff

So I started my first blog.  Hi mom.  I know you are the only one reading this...thanks for the chocolate chip cookies you made me (I've been telling everyone I made them)

Basically, this blog will just be a lot of words.  A few times there might be a picture or two, but I'm terrified of copyright laws so don't get too excited for visuals.

But the best part of this blog will be the coupons I will try to attach to each post.  Much like the popular website living social, I will make sure you all have a cheap and easy way to be just as unsociable as I am.

I don't get out much.
Here is a coupon to give to someone who walks out of the room every time you start talking about how much you love cats.  They will read this piece of paper and realize that they now have to sit down and listen to your detailed descriptions of kitty's lil scratchy tongue and how fuzzy wuzzy their lil fuzzy fur feels.

Good bye losers.  My roommate just hit me with the hardest piece of salt-water taffy ever.  I'll probably eat it off the floor later.